On Love

How to find true love and stay involved in a healthy relationship is one of life's lessons that would be invaluable to know from an early age, but unfortunately is one we are left to figure it out on our own. The fundamentals are not difficult to grasp, and while they don't remove the need for trial, the information can definitely help to cut down on the broken hearts. A lot of the reasons relationships go sour ties to the fact that many people don't know the true meaning of love.

If you ask someone how they define love, most of the time they will look at you with a funny expression and say something like "do you mean romantic love?" Love is essentially love no matter how you define it and the best definition I have ever heard is: "it is the will to extend oneself for the purpose of helping another to grow emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually." But so often that simple definition is not understood and people can expect more from love than they are willing to give.

Beyond not having a clear understanding on how to love, some people go from relationship to relationship as if they cannot function unless they are involved with someone at all times. However, it is so important to take time out for yourself and work on the areas that need improving, which would just make you more prepared for the next "true" love opportunity that will eventually come along. When we invest in ourselves and truly feel good about who we are as people, certain unwritten laws of attraction take effect and quality people will magically find us. It all starts with loving ourselves first and understanding this truth is fundamental to having healthy and loving relationships.

Once we find that certain someone, the key to keeping the relationship on track is communication and the willingness to love unconditionally. One must also be happy with oneself and again, the importance of this cannot be overstated. It is easy to imagine that a relationship will automatically make one happy and everything will magically take care of itself. But the truth is, that fulfilling relationships need continuous input and as we change as people, so must the relationship continue to grow with both people committing to it and giving to it.

It is easy to be attracted to someone for the wrong reasons and get caught up in the physical aspect of the person, rather than learning of their true essence. If you ask anyone who has been involved in a long-lasting relationship or marriage, the first thing they usually will say is that being best friends is key. Everything builds off friendship and when this ingredient is present, anything is possible and most likely will come to be. There obviously must be an attraction, but attraction can take many forms that transcend the physical.

It's also important to define what we want out of the relationship and establish it early on, because often people who seem like they would be a good match have different expectations.

As humans we are made to love, and in the end that is all that really matters.